when a dog is sitting in a car they probably don’t realize a person is making it go… they probably just think they’re riding a magic cushion
u can tell how popular someone is by how many people bless them when they sneeze in class
can you imagine how fucking relieved the french must have been when we reached the year 2000?
they went from having to say “mille neuf cents quatre-vingt-dix-neuf” to just having to say “deux mille” to say the year
yeah clowns and heights are scary and all but have u ever clogged your friends toilet
If you wanna be my lover, please do not get with my friends.
i do bad things because i listen to music with swears
you dont know frustration until youve tried plugging something into a socket in the dark
ok followers lets write a story. ill start: a young man stands in his bedroom
Photographer Mattias Klum from National Geographic gets close and personal with a lion.
"and all of a sudden you feel very small" damn right